


Flexibility, Love, and Trust...

by secretaccountformysecretships



Category: Mianite - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Steven Universe (Cartoon), youtube - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crystal Gems (Steven Universe), Alternate Universe - Steven Universe Fusion, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Song: Here Comes a Thought, TJ - Freeform, as in the fusions of sonja and tucker and then of jordan and tom, but not overtly, its a bit shippy tbh, not as ships even, tonja - Freeform, well kinda as ships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 01:11:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7956325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretaccountformysecretships/pseuds/secretaccountformysecretships
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He landed on a nearby pillar, and grinned down at the enormous skeleton. Tonja was still cheering on the sidelines, their sign having been flipped to cheer on the fusion. TJ felt a rush of adrenaline coursing through his body as he notched another dagger into the bow, and leapt through the air towards the hologram, ready to finish the job.</p>
<p>Before he could let the dagger fly loose, however, his vision went cloudy, and the shape of the skeleton looked like Dianite, the Dianite of the first world, not the one from Ruxamor, just before he was shattered. TJ flinched, practically curling up on himself in midair. “I’m sorry!” He crashed into the ground, tumbling, and then, where TJ had just lain, Jordan found himself splayed out, unsure of what had just happened.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Based off of the AWESOME steven universe ua by poodles-art on tumblr!<br/>GO CHECK OUT THEIR BLOG: http://poodles-art.tumblr.com/</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flexibility, Love, and Trust...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [poodles-art](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=poodles-art).



> I'm trash for this UA tbh... seriously, if you haven't already, go check out that blog I put up in the description, I would never have made this fic if it wasn't for them.

“Ready for fusion training?” Mot smiled at the two half-gems. “Tonja is sitting in on this one. They’re very excited to see the both of you train as TJ.”

“I have a sign.” The more experienced fusion held up some paper taped to a stick. “This side’s for the two of you,” the paper read ‘GO JORDAN + TOM’. “And this side’s for TJ!” They added, flipping the sign around to reveal ‘GO TJ!’ written on the back. “And it’s two signs in one, a fusion!”

Jordan grinned. He loved when Tonja made fusion jokes. But Tom just politely nodded. Jordan frowned. Why was the other man so distracted? Something was wrong, but Jordan had no idea what it was. Unsure of how to help, he just followed along as Mot led the group to the training area.

“Alright, are you ready?” Mot summoned some apparitions for them to fight, two hologram skeletons. On the sidelines, Tonja cheered and held up their sign.

“Yes, sir!” The pair responded.

The two skeletons chattered at each other for a moment, before their shapes merged, forming a large, ultra-skeleton. It turned to face them, cackling.

Tom and Jordan nodded at each other, before taking a moment to quickly dance, Jordan at a slightly slower tempo, almost a waltz, and Tom more wild and quick. When they met in the middle, their forms bled together, and suddenly TJ stood there, facing the mega-skeleton. One hand reached towards their chest, pulling out a bow, and the other grabbed a handful of daggers from the gem on his cheek. He notched one onto the bowstring, pulled back, and fired.

And missed. TJ frowned. There was something bothering him, something...something about Tom, he was pretty sure. But it was all very cloudy with the rush that came from fusing, and he just focused on the task at hand, leaping nimbly back from the skeleton as it advanced, and then charging at it, swiping with one of the daggers as he used the skeleton’s ribs as a way to head up, launching himself into the air, over it’s head, before it could shoot him.

He landed on a nearby pillar, and grinned down at the enormous skeleton. Tonja was still cheering on the sidelines, their sign having been flipped to cheer on the fusion. TJ felt a rush of adrenaline coursing through his body as he notched another dagger into the bow, and leapt through the air towards the hologram, ready to finish the job.

Before he could let the dagger fly loose, however, his vision went cloudy, and the shape of the skeleton looked like Dianite, the Dianite of the first world, not the one from Ruxamor, just before he was shattered. TJ flinched, practically curling up on himself in midair. “I’m sorry!” He crashed into the ground, tumbling, and then, where TJ had just lain, Jordan found himself splayed out, unsure of what had just happened.

“Jordan! Tom!” Tonja and Mot both ran over to the pair, as Jordan unsteadily sat up.

“What happened?” He blinked up at the more experienced gems. Tom groaned, and Jordan looked over at his friend. Tom’s eyes were shut tight, and he was breathing heavily. Then, suddenly, he bolted upright, racing away from the group. “Tom, wait!” Jordan called out, chasing after him.

When he finally caught up, Tom was sitting against a tree, knees brought up to his chest, and head down towards the ground. He looked absolutely miserable.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jordan sat down next to Tom, unsure what he should do.

“I- I can’t get over what I did.” Tom looked over towards him, almost ready to cry. “I- I don’t know what to do. In the old world, our world, I- I killed him. I shattered Dianite.”

Jordan’s eyes widened. He’d never really wondered how that might’ve affected Tom. The other man had never seemed bothered by it. He always just seemed to roll with the punches. “W-well, it was an accident, right? I mean, none of us expected that to happen. We were just trying to save Lady Ianite.” He bit his lip as Tom just curled more in on himself. “Besides, the Dianite of our world was a bad guy. He wasn’t a good person to follow anyways.”

Tom shrugged. “Yeah, but I’m only here today because of him. I was supposed to follow him.” He buried his face in his hands. “Instead, I killed him. I didn’t mean to. But it’s tearing me apart.”

Jordan fidgeted, swallowing nervously. “I- I know what you’re talking about. Sometimes, you hurt people, by- by accident? And you just have to try not to think about it.”

“Hold the phone.” The pair looked up, startled, to see Tonja, towering above them, hands on their hips. “Now give the phone to me.” They walked closer to Tom and Jordan, and then sat down in front of them. “For a fusion to work, there has to be balance, and imbalance can cause your fusion to lose touch with reality, see things that aren’t there, and eventually fall apart.” Jordan thought back to what had happened in the training area. “That is to say,” Tonja continued. “If one of you is falling apart, you fusion will as well. To find balance, you must understand your feelings. To understand your feelings, you must see them clearly, without running from them.”

“See them clearly?” Tom sounded nervous, and Jordan couldn’t blame him. He had a few problems he’d rather just keep running from.

“I’ll show you,” Tonja promised, crossing their arms. “But first, we need TJ.”

Tom and Jordan exchanged confused glances, but nodded, before quickly getting up and dancing.

When they sat down, they were TJ, who blinked, nervous and wary.

Tonja held out their hands, before placing them together, forming an upside-down arch with their fingers. TJ stared for a second, before copying them.

“Close your eyes.” Tonja instructed.

“Okay.” TJ closed his eyes.

“Now breathe.” Tonja and TJ both took deep breaths simultaneously. “Here in the darkness, everything’s okay. Listen to the wind, and let it fade away. Here comes a thought.”

TJ opened his eyes again, and gasped. He and Tonja were sitting in a strange, somewhat blank environment, that was blue, with some yellow gradients in what could be either the sky or a ceiling. Tonja looked completely at home here, settling down even more.

They started to sing, a soft, soothing song. “Take a moment to think of just, flexibility, love, and trust. Take a moment to think of just, flexibility, love, and trust.” They looked over, and TJ followed their gaze. His eyes widened. Sonja and Tucker were standing off to the side, Sonja with her hood pulled over her head, Tucker with his arms crossed. They looked sad, and a bit angry.

A butterfly, made of light, drifted down in between the pair, and they startled, looking at it in surprise. Tonja, meanwhile continued to sing. “Here comes a thought,” The butterfly landed on Tucker’s face, and he swatted at it, clearly angry. Then it swooped around Sonja, causing her to pull her hood further down in front of her face. “That might alarm you.” As the butterfly flew off, Tucker chased after it, clearly enraged, while Sonja stayed put. “What someone said, and how it harmed you.” There were more butterflies appearing around Sonja now, and she looked lost, somewhat scared.

A butterfly fluttered over to the two fusions, and landed on TJ’s finger. “Something you did, that failed to be charming.” His breathe caught in his throat, as memories of Dianite’s death, from two different points of view, swirled around his mind. “Things that you said are suddenly swarming.” An entire kaleidoscope of butterflies flew past, causing TJ to withdraw his hand quickly.

“And, oh,” As Tonja’s voice rang out, the butterflies spiraled around Sonja, catching her in a whirlwind. “You're losing sight,” Sonja peered up at the butterflies in horror, pulling her hood off of her face, eyes starting to tear up. “You're losing touch, all these little things, seem to matter so much,” as Sonja was being overpowered by the butterflies, Tucker was still just shouting at the first, so clearly being as loud as he could, though there was no sound that reached TJ’s ears. “That they confuse you,” Now Tucker was crying, tears starting to pour down his cheeks as he buried his face in his hands, anger giving away to sorrow. “That I might lose you.” Sonja tried to reach out towards him, but the swarm blocked her hand, and she cowered, sinking to the ground. TJ wondered if the butterflies were, among other things, the thoughts going through their heads that led to the breakup. He winced, internally.

There were two little butterflies by Tonja, now, and they let them land on their hands, holding them out for TJ to see. “Take a moment, remind yourself, to take a moment and find yourself. Take a moment and ask yourself, if this is how we fall apart.” TJ stared at the butterflies, and he could feel them tugging at his memories, at all the things Tom and Jordan had done that hurt them, and those around them. Then they flew away, fluttering towards the larger swarm.

When Tonja continued, their voice was lighter, less grave. “But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not.” They smiled at the other fusion. In the distance, Tucker was taking a step back from the butterfly, taking a deep breath and calming himself. “It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.” Then he turned, and, face filled with determination, set off towards Sonja and the swarm. “You've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear.” As Sonja glanced up, Tucker reached down to help her up. “I'm here,” Sonja smiled up at Tucker, accepting the helping hand up. “I'm here,” Tonja smiled at the two in the distance, before turning to look expectantly at TJ. “I'm here.”

TJ bit his lip, and joined in, as Tonja listened to him, now. “Here comes a thought,” he and Tonja gazed off in the distance, opposite Tucker and Sonja, where now Tom was walking along, mournfully, followed by a worried Jordan. “That might alarm me.” A butterfly flew up to Tom’s face, and TJ realized, now, that the butterflies were at least partially reflective, as Tom’s own face stared up at the half-gem. “What someone said and how it harmed me.” Tom wasn’t letting himself look at the butterfly, staring pointedly away from it, as pain crossed his features. “Something I did that failed to be charming.” As Tom tried to make himself smaller, and Jordan tried, unsuccessfully, to comfort him, the sword hilt on Tom’s hip started to grow, as butterflies started to burst out of it. “Things that I said are suddenly swarming.”

TJ felt hollow as he continued, watching the spectacle with sad eyes. “And, oh, I'm losing sight,” he grimaced as the swarm of butterflies merged into one, far bigger than any one person there. TJ reached out for the two people that were a part of him, before letting his arm drop uselessly to his side. “I'm losing touch.”

On the giant butterfly, a memory was playing out, of Tom striking Dianite with his dagger, only to hit the gem, which cracked, as an expression of fury and betrayal played out across Dianite’s face, before his form dissipated, and the gem turned to shards. “All these little things seem to matter so much, that they confuse me.” In the memory, Tom was backing away, horrified, disgusted with his own actions, staring at the remains of his leader.

When TJ continued, Tonja started to sing with them. “That I might lose me.”

“Take a moment, remind yourself,” Tonja motioned for TJ to fold his hands together again, nodding with a small smile as he did. “To take a moment and find yourself. Take a moment and ask yourself, if this is how we fall apart.”

The butterflies swarming around TJ started to disperse, slowly. “But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not.” He watched them fly away with a relieved smile. “It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.” When he looked towards Tom and Jordan, the pair were taking deep breathes, trying to calm themselves. “I've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear.” A butterfly landed on Tom’s hand, and this time he looked at it, tears welling up in his eyes. Then he sighed, and looked up at Jordan. “I'm here,” Jordan offered him a small smile, and his hand. “I'm here,” TJ took a deep, tired breath, as Tom let the butterfly go, and it flew into the air. “I'm here.”

“And it was just a thought, just a thought, just a thought, just a thought, just a thought.” The whole swarm started to head off, a kaleidoscope of dancing light. TJ smiled, softly. “It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.” Tom and Jordan had both sat down, still holding hands, staring up at the butterflies as Tom wiped the last of the tears from his eyes. Then, he lay back on the ground, staring upwards.

Tucker joined him, with a small smile, followed by Sonja and Jordan, all staring up at the butterflies as they flew away. “We can watch, we can watch, we can watch, we can watch them go by, from here, from here, from here.”

Tonja stopped singing, and just watched and listened as TJ finished the song. "Take a moment to think of just, flexibility, love, and trust. Take a moment to think of just, flexibility, love, and trust…”

He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, he and Tonja were both sitting in the forest, under a tree. Tonja blinked their eyes open, and smiled at him. “I’ll go tell Mot that we should probably pick up fusion practice tomorrow, instead. Alright?” TJ nodded.

When Tonja left, TJ unfused, and Jordan and Tom were left sitting in his place. They leaned up against each other, and let the world slip away for a bit, thinking about what they’d just learned.

The next day, Jordan was sitting by Mot’s place, reading a book about reactors, when Tom raced up, grin on his face. “Jordan! I’m ready to train! I’m so glad we talked to Tonja yesterday, it really helped me figure out what I had to do! I talked to Dianite, this world’s Dianite, about what happened, and why the other Dianite was shattered in the first place.” Jordan’s eyes widened. “I apologized for keeping it secret for so long, and he understood! He actually told me that he didn’t blame me for fighting that version of him, and said he was glad I helped save the other Ianite!”

“That’s great!” Jordan stood up, giving Tom a small smile, as a dark thought flitted about his brain. Why didn’t you help me save this world’s Ianite, too? But he pushed it away. Tom couldn’t have done anything. Jordan hadn’t really been able to do anything, either.

“It’s funny! I spent all that time moping about, instead of doing something about it! Like, I was trying not to think about it, but that just made me think about it more! Now that I’ve cleared my head, we’ll do so much better as TJ! Anyway, let’s go!” Tom headed up the stairs towards Mot’s house, and Jordan nodded, halfheartedly. As he followed his friend, he swore he saw a small butterfly made of light moving about the trees…

TJ was doing great, going through hologram mob after hologram mob, as Tonja cheered from the sidelines. “Great technique, TJ!” Mot called out to him. “Keep up the good work!”

“Thank you, sir!” TJ grinned, ducking under a blow from a hologram zombie. He let a dagger fly from his bow, and it struck the last mob right in it’s chest.

As the dagger protruded from the holograms chest, TJ’s vision went foggy. He gasped, horrified, taking a step back, as Ianite, this world’s Ianite, seemed to accept her fate, and let her form flicker, before fully disappearing, gem shattering to pieces.

“Oh no, it’s happening again!” TJ kept stumbling backwards, his breath coming out quick and shallow.

“That was Ianite-” The Tom part of TJ was confused, and scared.

“When she shattered, I watched, nobody even touched her, but I was the only one around.” The Jordan part of TJ was babbling. “So it must’ve been my fault, right?”

“Jordan!”

“Oh no, it’s coming from me, now!”

“TJ!” Tonja’s voice broke through the haze in TJ’s mind. “Breathe!”

“What’s going on?” He could hear Mot, completely lost. “What’s happening to him?”

“He’s got this!” Tonja assured Mot.

TJ spun to look at them, still stumbling farther away, not fully aware of his surroundings. “Y-yeah! I’m- I’m-” Suddenly, a familiar face was in front of him, corrupted, mindless. “Capsize-” TJ felt the Jordan part of himself start to pull even farther away from the Tom part. “I- I tried to help you- You were too far gone, already- I-” Now there was the towering figure of Lieutenant Al. “I told you to stop! I- I had no choice! I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be-” He froze, and braced himself. “No, no, it’s okay. It’s okay to think about it!” Then he started to sink lower towards the ground, completely surrounded by the figures. “I thought I could- but it’s so much, I can’t do it!” The figures turned into swarms of butterflies, which billowed into the air, and started to pour towards him, as he backed away, the hands holding his weapons trembling. The swarm turned into a giant head of Spark, the person Jordan was supposed to be, and the fluorite gem in TJ’s chest felt like it was burning as he backed away, and tumbled off the edge of a cliff.

“TJ!” He heard Tonja and Mot call out, as he fell through the air. In his utter terror, he unfused, and Tom and Jordan were falling, falling through the air at unbearable speeds.

“Jordan! We’re falling! My angel ring! If we fuse, I can use it to catch you, too!” Tom called out, but Jordan didn’t look over at him, instead pressing his hands to his face.

Jordan was curled in a ball, tears streaming up his face because of the wind, flying into the air around them. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone! None of them would listen, they wouldn’t let me help, I couldn’t do anything!”

Tom grabbed Jordan and pulled him close. The ground was approaching at a terrifying rate, but Jordan couldn’t even bring himself to care. Maybe it would be better this way. “It’s okay!”

“No, it’s not!”

“But it’s okay to think about it!”

“It feels so bad!”

“That’s okay too!” Tom insisted, his embrace tightening. “There was nothing else you could’ve done!”

“But I don’t want to feel this way!”

“You have to! You have to be honest about how bad it feels so you can move on!” Jordan stared at Tom as they spun in the air, wondering at the newfound wisdom his friend was spouting. “That’s how it was for me.”

Jordan sniffled one more time, but nodded, tears lessening. “Okay.” As they spun, their forms became one, and they were TJ again.

TJ cried out for a moment, the ground having been replaced by all the butterflies of light and thought. But then he took a deep breath, and focused on the area past them. “Just, breathe.” He reminded himself, as he plummeted through the whirlwind of wings. As he did so, the wings from the angel ring that Tom had been wearing sprouted, and started to slow his descent. When he opened his eyes again, he was hovering a foot above the ground. He laughed as he landed, relieved, and then he lay back onto the grass, looking up at the sky. “I’m here.” He said, softly, taking in all of the sounds of the world around him.

He stayed there, staring up at the sky, until Tonja and Mot made their way down to him to make sure he was okay.

**Author's Note:**

> My mianite blog is http://ianiteinshiningarmor.tumblr.com/


End file.
